Sometimes I get my hopes up too high.
So, I over compensate. I have started to have my hopes so low, so gosh darn low that something that is great is ruined by my expectation it will go wrong. I nearly forget how to be excited.
Something I have been working on the past couple of weeks is how to expect the best, but prepare for the worst. It's never a good idea to have all of your eggs in one basket...or in too many baskets for that matter. But when you're starting something big and scary, it's easy to dart all around. Especially when I've had problems with being sure and confident in myself. That's a pretty new-to-me trait that I've been fostering recently. (And has been rewarding me well, I might add. Confidence is a handy thing to have.)
This mental pattern happens when I start to recognize the potential of a situation. I go a little crazy thinking of the absolute best case and worst case simultaneously. (Thanks, Miss. Fluctuating Self Esteem and Impostor Syndrome*! You guys are awesome.) My emotions drive me more than I'd like, and it's been a hassle to reign them in. It's something I recognize in myself and would love to change.
Since I've been listening to Gary Vayneerchuck way too much recently, (I tend to get super hyped on one person or idea, let it cycle through and whirl around until I move on to the next thing. Do you guys do that, too?) his words have been floating throughout my mind and his straightforward honesty has really struck a chord with me. He recently said in his latest book "Ask Gary Vee", that he is "not a smart guy" but is "emotionally intelligent." Instead of letting his emotions get the best of him when something goes wrong, he will shut off for a while until getting a handle on his feelings, then come back and confront the situation with a strong sense of clarity. That is a quality I have been working towards and fostering.
Through speaking with one of my greatest friends Gabby, we discussed living in the moment. We are both having a similar problem, and have discovered that living in the moment would solve the problem. Focusing your efforts on the what ifs and the dreams will only allow you to live in that realm off possibility, and that can be way too much to handle and can be overwhelming. It will hold you back, since you don't have access to any realistic tools around you in which could get to those points. The smarter thing to do is to identify your goal, definitely be aware of its presence, live in that feeling. Then, look around you. What tools do you have with you right now that can help you progress in that direction of your goal? What seeds can you plant, and what resources are available to you to start building that foundation for your dream?
Keeping yourself based in reality while also having the confidence and mindset at all times that you will achieve your goals will keep you on the track to getting there without distracting you of the what ifs and from darting around. My main goals (which I'll talk about a little later) are always in the back of my head, and are my north star to follow. As I traverse the pathway, I am building a solid foundation slowly but surely. I do not want to be an "overnight success". I want to have a fruitful, reliable foundation that I can trust in myself to grow upwards and out from. I try not to let myself get too excited and hopeful, yet also not think I will fail...Layer that with a huge gob of "I know that I will achieve my goals and live out my purpose no matter what." As I continue to build my confidence and assurance in my abilities, I want to let myself develop organically, genuinely, and with purpose.
<3 Mary
*I did one of those star things up there. Did you see it? Yeah, you totally did because you were probably like, what the heck is Impostor Syndrome? Or you were all like, oh yeah, Impostor Syndrome. We're pretty tight. If you're tight with it or not, here's an article all about it:
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/26/your-money/learning-to-deal-with-the-impostor-syndrome.html?_r=0